Thursday, March 10, 2005

Eddie Izzard: Comic Genius

You've gotta have a big, fuck-off name to run the United Nations, haven't you? "Javier Perez de Cuellar"...Come on in, Jav! Come on in there, you old javelin-thrower, you, come on in. "Boutros Boutros-Ghali?" Come on in, Boutros Boutros. "I'm Jeff Smith!" Fuck off, Jeff Smith, you short-named bastard, you! "I've changed my name, it's Jeff Jeff Jeff Smith Smith Smithly Ghali!" Come on in, Jeffrey-big long-named person.

-EI

The American Dream

The American Way has and always will be focused towards creating things that have greater yield for less effort put in. This can be seen in such instances as the Diet Revolution (there's a new diet every day, each one promoting an easier lifestyle than the one before it), high-speed internet, TiVo (God forbid you should have to schedule your VCR to tape something), navigational systems in cars (because maps are so hard to read), and, my favorite, the bouncy ball. The bouncy ball exceeds the others by far in its adherence to the American Way. We put so little effort into throwing that little neon ball, and who among us is not amused or excited every time it bounces back much higher than we ever expected it to?

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

It is Gray, and My Hiding No Longer Matters

HAMLET
My lord, you play'd once i' the university, you say?

POLONIUS
That did I, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

HAMLET
What did you enact?

POLONIUS
I did enact Julius Caesar. I was kill'd i' the Capitol; Brutus killed me.

HAMLET
It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf there.

It's Light and No One's Looking For Me

Conscience makes cowards of us all.
-Hamlet

It's Dark And There's Nowhere to Hide

"Fuge, nate-dea. Fuge extemplo ex hoc loco. Troja cadenta te consumabit." Et multis factis perfectis, Trojanus Aeneas reliquit incenda ruina quae Troja fuerat.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

S&G

Half of the time we're gone, but we don't know where...we don't know where.

-Simon and Garfunkel