Ever sneeze when you're driving? Scary.
Who the fuck takes Dr. Phil seriously?
My knob needs slobbing.
Don't listen to anyone who works at a Verizon store. They have no idea what they're talking about.
I like being Jewish.
Doesn't it just blow your mind how stupid this country is? Case in point: George W. Bush. Twice.
I'm all congested.
Gap knows what the fuck they're doing. They may have 6-year-old kids working 18 hours a day for mere cents, but at least they understand how annoying tags are, and just print their label on the back of the inside of the neck on the shirt.
Futurama is probably the most underappreciated show on television.
Life confuses me sometimes.
Girls are such an anomaly. They're the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.
If there were no girls, food would be the best thing that ever happened to me.
At some point in my life, I became unbearably lazy.
Merry New Year.